Archive for January, 2009

A sea/tree (life) change… when is it ever the right time?

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

Changes in our lives can be difficult, a total sea/tree change can be very daunting to most but it does not need to be, hopefully our tree change adventure can inspire you for your sea/tree change.  Join us over the next couple of months as we make our tree change….

First up – what’s the difference between sea change and tree change, well first up we believe that the change part is away from your normal life of usually inner city or suburban living to a place where you have space, room to grow and be part of a much smaller community.  On the flip side there is also those that have had the quiet life and want (for whatever reasons) to be in amongst the busy city life, either way it is a total change of life.

Sea change is the moving to the sea and enjoying the beach air, the fresh winds and the waves at night while having your space and quiet surrounds.

Tree change is the moving to the hills or country away from suburbia usually with some acreage or even a farm (of various sizes)

Of course you could have both a Sea and Tree change depending on where you wish to go 🙂

Back on topic…

This topic title is a big one for most families, or even those thinking about starting a family (or not).  So when is the right time for a change in direction that not only affects you but the people around you (your family and friends).  Over the years I have read, listened to and watched people make great plans or wishes to do things in their lives and never follow through with them, to be told that it is not quite the right time to make life changes etc.  It is something we also have been thinking about as well and really when is the best time…. ?

Even my parents have great plans, but to be honest by the time they get to even act on those plans they will be way to old to enjoy them.  So when is the best time… for anything?

The answer to that will differ with every person reading this post, we all have different backgrounds, lived our lives a certain way and have our comfort zones we cling to as part of our every day life.  But is that living life or life living – I can’t answer that for you as only you will know that answer.  However what I can say for the most of us is that we keep making reasons not to change rather than reasons to change.  For my family and I, well we were just getting by, doing the norm and it actually put us in a rut and very unhealthy situation.  So change was needed but what change and is it the right time for change now or should we  wait until the kids are older (ages 13, 9 and 7)…. well I was ready, my wife was ready so what about the kids.

We bounced ideas back and forth to each other and considered everything about if this was the right time to put the kids through this and then we thought .. hang on we are doing it again, we are making reasons ourselves as to why we should not do it rather than reasons we should.  So we decided it was time to open the discussions to our children, after all they will be affected and should have a say in what we may do.  We did not want to pressure the kids or push them into any one direction, we simply wanted to hear from their points of view on a few options we have considered.  We requested a family meeting (yes we request not demand) and asked them;

  • are you happy?
  • how happy?
  • what would you like to do different?
  • do you like where we live?
  • would you be interested in moving house?

This laid the ground work for us to decide if we should continue with the discussion and responses were positive, interesting to both of us was a notable shift from love where we live to like where we live as you do once you have been in the same place for quite some time (7+ years), so we led into a discussion

  • What do you think about the idea of moving to a larger property?
  • What about moving schools
  • How about living on a  farm (got a great response on that one – i.e. can I have a pony, motorbike etc)

They asked questions as well and we opened the discussion from there to hear from them what they wanted and what they felt about moving.  For the kids ages we were really happy with the way they asked questions and raised ideas and noticed a growing excitement from them, particularly our eldest whom we thought would prefer to stay put.

The end result of the discussions was a resounding yes, it was time to make the next move and this move would be quite a change.  I’ll make a further post soon about the next stage in our tree change but the point of this post was simply to share with you that the right time is any time, it is not when you feel comfortable, it is not when you have enough money, it is not when the kids are older, it is now, if you feel you need a change in life then you do.

The biggest thing I got out of this process so far was the realisation that we like most people were stuck in a zone that was a life, but not ‘the life’ and whenever we considered a change we were looking for reasons not change rather than reasons for change.

While our tree change is still in the process I really wish to pass onto anyone contemplating a change to;

  • make reasons for not against
  • make reasons that are positive not negative
  • involve your whole family, they may have ideas you have not thought of – our kids did
  • look forward not back.

While weighing up pros and cons sound good, leave the cons out as they only provide a negative outlook, list the pros – all of them and build them and have fun doing it… we did 🙂

Sea/Tree change part 2 coming soon….

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Is no news good news?

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

It has again been no news from me on the site – sorry people just too busy with other aspects of my life – will try and get into this blog thing a bit more over the next few weeks and don’t be surprised if you see some more controveral topics 🙂

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